advent begins. the wait is on. so is this thing that will grow in the 32 ocean sanctuary for MBCC and OAPC over the next month. despite the fact that i am without pics at this moment, here is my artist statement.
throughout the narratives of the people of God, the night sky plays a role--from the creation of the night, to the God's promise that abraham's descendants will be as numerous as the stars. in the story of God made flesh among us, the stars set the stage for the revelation of the angels to the shepherds and lead the magi to the Christ child wrapped in his manger.
it is in the darkest of night that we can feel most alone. but we are not. jesus is that light that shines, that beckons us toward God. it is the light of jesus that we reflect to the world when we do God's work, when we fulfill our covenant with God.
but, advent is the season for waiting for the light. we anticipate it. we grow excited. it is not yet here, but we know have faith that it will come. we are still in the dark, though the light begins to break through.
the dressing of the sanctuary represents all of these complexities of this season. as we grow closer to the birth of the Christ child, the colors will change, the hope will grow. as we grow closer to the reality of the Emmanuel, more and more light will fill the sanctuary. i hope that the dressing of the sanctuary will encourage you to meditate on these themes, grow closer to God throughout this season, and bring glory to the Christ child who will join us soon.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
time audit
so the jobs that i work are those kind of part time jobs with vague descriptions of how many hours to work, and a task list inevitably longer than the hours available. discernment is key, especially when finals start to loom over head, and fun holiday things tempt me to stop working (a good thing in my book).
which makes me want to ponder how i do spend my time at work and the effect that it has. now there are days, in my radical seminarian brain and heart, that i want to give up the institutions and spend my precious hours devoted to ministry directly serving people. cooking for the hungry, tutoring small children, that sort of thing... sexy ministry (when compared to admin anyway). it is what jesus did right? and we are called to do what jesus did...
this week i found myself doing something sexier that my usual admin work: dressing the sanctuary for advent. up and down ladders (that made me a little nervous) running around the space, i spent hours being fussy with the way the fabric was draping. finally happy with the way that it looked, and with my plan to make it grow over the course of the season, i cleaned up.
so, in total, this week, i spent somewhere around 10-12 hours procuring supplies, installing and perfecting the advent decor. now, some of this time was put into infrastructure that i will never have to repeat, but all the same, when you are only "supposed" to work 15-20 hours a week, that is a lot of time. is it worth it?
for many people, the space is just a space when worshiping. don't matter what color, what texture, what lighting, it will feel the same to them. for others, (like me) the space can speak volumes about theology, set a mood, welcome the Holy Spirit and glorfiy God... if we are lucky, all at the same time. But are enough people in the second category to make the time and the work worth it? as much as i like my art to be about me, this is an art form i practice that is not about me, it is about the community and facilitating the community's experience. this will be our first advent in a space like this, so i am anxious for feedback.
right now, i agree with Georgia O'Keefe...
"i foud that i could say things with color and shapes that i couldn't say any other way--things i had not words for."
this will be my first advent sermon ever, and it will have no words.
which makes me want to ponder how i do spend my time at work and the effect that it has. now there are days, in my radical seminarian brain and heart, that i want to give up the institutions and spend my precious hours devoted to ministry directly serving people. cooking for the hungry, tutoring small children, that sort of thing... sexy ministry (when compared to admin anyway). it is what jesus did right? and we are called to do what jesus did...
this week i found myself doing something sexier that my usual admin work: dressing the sanctuary for advent. up and down ladders (that made me a little nervous) running around the space, i spent hours being fussy with the way the fabric was draping. finally happy with the way that it looked, and with my plan to make it grow over the course of the season, i cleaned up.
so, in total, this week, i spent somewhere around 10-12 hours procuring supplies, installing and perfecting the advent decor. now, some of this time was put into infrastructure that i will never have to repeat, but all the same, when you are only "supposed" to work 15-20 hours a week, that is a lot of time. is it worth it?
for many people, the space is just a space when worshiping. don't matter what color, what texture, what lighting, it will feel the same to them. for others, (like me) the space can speak volumes about theology, set a mood, welcome the Holy Spirit and glorfiy God... if we are lucky, all at the same time. But are enough people in the second category to make the time and the work worth it? as much as i like my art to be about me, this is an art form i practice that is not about me, it is about the community and facilitating the community's experience. this will be our first advent in a space like this, so i am anxious for feedback.
right now, i agree with Georgia O'Keefe...
"i foud that i could say things with color and shapes that i couldn't say any other way--things i had not words for."
this will be my first advent sermon ever, and it will have no words.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
when there are no words
this week i have learned that i chose (am called to?) a profession where i will have to speak at times when no words are adequate. times of great sorrow and great joy are often beyond what we can quantify and qualify with our words. any attempt to do so pales in comparison.
so what do we do when there are no words? when there are no answers?
i watched my distinguished boss preach at his brother-in-law's funeral today. his first sentence: we shouldn't be here.
sometimes a simple truth is enough. we shouldn't have been there. he shouldn't have died and he certainly shouldn't have died as he did. to acknowledge that is a powerful use of few words.
the sermon continued, the most honest and powerful response to death that i have heard at a funeral.
even when there are no words, sometimes we need the words. to work out the pain, to reach out to each other, to find God in the darkness.
i imagine there will often be times in my career, again and again, where there are no words. i hope for the grace of God, the strength of the Holy Spirit and the presence of Jesus that i witnessed today in those times.
so what do we do when there are no words? when there are no answers?
i watched my distinguished boss preach at his brother-in-law's funeral today. his first sentence: we shouldn't be here.
sometimes a simple truth is enough. we shouldn't have been there. he shouldn't have died and he certainly shouldn't have died as he did. to acknowledge that is a powerful use of few words.
the sermon continued, the most honest and powerful response to death that i have heard at a funeral.
even when there are no words, sometimes we need the words. to work out the pain, to reach out to each other, to find God in the darkness.
i imagine there will often be times in my career, again and again, where there are no words. i hope for the grace of God, the strength of the Holy Spirit and the presence of Jesus that i witnessed today in those times.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
statements of faith
yesterday i gave a statement of faith to my polity class in a mock presbytery meeting where i was being examined for a fake first call.
to stand in a sorta pulpit and declare what you believe is a powerful thing. people do it metaphorically all the time, and i wonder if, despite my hoped for profession, if i do it enough.
two "statements of faith" that i admire:
"you believe in a witness based on the historic tradition of scripture but also the lived experience of today, and so do I." read the rest of this incredible speech by bill moyers here.
in this video, cornel west says nothing about God, but i believe he speaks deeply to faith.
a statement of faith should be a call to action, because faith is alive. these are both calls to action.
so i put before you the faith statement i presented yesterday for your feedback.
I am in constant revolution, being made and remade each day by God. This is the reality of my faith and my call. But, the roots of my faith could not grow deep and strong without being grounded in a deep and abiding belief loving and living presence of the Triune God.
to stand in a sorta pulpit and declare what you believe is a powerful thing. people do it metaphorically all the time, and i wonder if, despite my hoped for profession, if i do it enough.
two "statements of faith" that i admire:
"you believe in a witness based on the historic tradition of scripture but also the lived experience of today, and so do I." read the rest of this incredible speech by bill moyers here.
in this video, cornel west says nothing about God, but i believe he speaks deeply to faith.
a statement of faith should be a call to action, because faith is alive. these are both calls to action.
so i put before you the faith statement i presented yesterday for your feedback.
I am in constant revolution, being made and remade each day by God. This is the reality of my faith and my call. But, the roots of my faith could not grow deep and strong without being grounded in a deep and abiding belief loving and living presence of the Triune God.
I believe in a Triune God is to believe in a God, who, by God’s very nature, is in relationship.
God is here. God is present. God is real. God engages in the world, and God moves in the world.
Jesus was God with us—Emmanuel. Both human and divine, his birth, life, death and resurrection show us how to live, while saving us at the same time.
The Holy Spirit is God’s presence among us now. The Holy Spirit empowers us to live faithfully and allows us to experience God in our midst.
Our salvation—given by God’s abundant grace and love—through the life, death and resurrection of Christ Jesus, allows us to live together with God, both right now, and forever.
In our baptism, God claims us. Our hearts are sealed with the love of God, and we are adopted into God’s family in a new way. We become heirs to the kingdom. The adoption is a covenant that comes with significant responsibility for caring for that kingdom and working towards the reality of that kingdom here on Earth. Each time we experience the baptism of someone else, we are reminded who we belong to.
At the Lord’s Table, we renew that covenant. We experience the presence of God among us, feeding our bodies and souls for the work God calls us to in the world. At the table, we remember our salvation, remember the life of Christ, and are empowered to live into the calling.
I believe that we are made in the image of God, thus by our very nature, we are created to be in relationship—because by God’s very nature, God is in relationship. We are made to be in relationship with God and in relationship with each other. This is the calling of the church—to nurture both relationships. These relationships must follow the pattern given to us by Christ. We are to love God, each other and ourselves with everything we have. We are to love the least of our brothers and sisters, even above ourselves, caring for their earthly needs as Christ did. We are to radically forgive each other and ourselves. When we follow Jesus, we live the life that God’s call us to.
Each one of us is a lovingly created child of God, and if we fail to recognize that in each other, we fail to recognize God.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
watching a new session be born
on december 14, 2008 mission bay community church will be chartered as a congregation of the PC(USA). as such, the churches leadership will transition from being a steering committee to being a session, and we will ordain our first elders.
in some ways, this is a simple bureaucratic change. but yesterday, sitting with our elders-to-be during our first preparing to be a session retreat, i realized it is so much more.
our eldest elder will be thirty one. our youngest (just by guessing) is an undergrad. more than one person expressed some surprise as being called to this position of leadership in the church. many expressed pride and excitement at the opportunity to serve our congregation and the denomination.
i am taking a presbyterian polity class right now, and this was the most exciting polity moment of the semester so far. when we started to talk about the book of order, what it means, and how we can use it, they got excited. they want to make their voice heard in the denomination. they want to use the avenues available for transforming the church.
and i have never been in a committee, leadership team, or other similar meeting that was so fun (well, maybe an mbcc staff meeting). three and a half hours flew by. the room was often filled with laughter. seriously, i think the state of the global church could be vastly changed if meetings were more fun.
what if once a year, every presbytery birthed one new, fun, excited session (on thereby one new, fun, exciting church)? how different would we be, would the world be?
it can be hard from the inside to understand the significance of insignificance of something accurately. at times, the presence of mbcc, its chartering, its session, feels small. at other times, it feels huge. i think it remains to be seen what the true significance of this community may be. today, i am not sure that it matters. for me, it is the place where i find God. it is the place where right now i am called to serve God. this seems to be the case for a number of fabulous and interesting people. that is enough for me.
in some ways, this is a simple bureaucratic change. but yesterday, sitting with our elders-to-be during our first preparing to be a session retreat, i realized it is so much more.
our eldest elder will be thirty one. our youngest (just by guessing) is an undergrad. more than one person expressed some surprise as being called to this position of leadership in the church. many expressed pride and excitement at the opportunity to serve our congregation and the denomination.
i am taking a presbyterian polity class right now, and this was the most exciting polity moment of the semester so far. when we started to talk about the book of order, what it means, and how we can use it, they got excited. they want to make their voice heard in the denomination. they want to use the avenues available for transforming the church.
and i have never been in a committee, leadership team, or other similar meeting that was so fun (well, maybe an mbcc staff meeting). three and a half hours flew by. the room was often filled with laughter. seriously, i think the state of the global church could be vastly changed if meetings were more fun.
what if once a year, every presbytery birthed one new, fun, excited session (on thereby one new, fun, exciting church)? how different would we be, would the world be?
it can be hard from the inside to understand the significance of insignificance of something accurately. at times, the presence of mbcc, its chartering, its session, feels small. at other times, it feels huge. i think it remains to be seen what the true significance of this community may be. today, i am not sure that it matters. for me, it is the place where i find God. it is the place where right now i am called to serve God. this seems to be the case for a number of fabulous and interesting people. that is enough for me.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
rachel getting married
talk of God comes in the most surprising places sometimes.
rachel getting married is not the comedy i thought it was, but it was a beautiful and intense movie that was worth every second. anne hathaway should get major props (and i love to see people who are essentially my peers who are so imspirationally talented). anyway...
rachel, addict working her steps, says at a meeting... "i don't know if i can believe in a God who can forgive me." in her struggle to confront her past, she is also confronting God. learning to live with herself is also learning to live with God. and sometimes the goodness of God is the hardest part to understand--or believe.
i struggle with those same things. an angry God who holds me to account for each an every error, each and every slip up, each and everything i hate in myself, makes such perfect sense that i can buy into it. it is making God in the image of myself... when in fact it is we who are made in the image of God.
believing in God's goodness can be so hard because (for me) it also means believing in my own goodness...
rachel getting married is not the comedy i thought it was, but it was a beautiful and intense movie that was worth every second. anne hathaway should get major props (and i love to see people who are essentially my peers who are so imspirationally talented). anyway...
rachel, addict working her steps, says at a meeting... "i don't know if i can believe in a God who can forgive me." in her struggle to confront her past, she is also confronting God. learning to live with herself is also learning to live with God. and sometimes the goodness of God is the hardest part to understand--or believe.
i struggle with those same things. an angry God who holds me to account for each an every error, each and every slip up, each and everything i hate in myself, makes such perfect sense that i can buy into it. it is making God in the image of myself... when in fact it is we who are made in the image of God.
believing in God's goodness can be so hard because (for me) it also means believing in my own goodness...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
the joy of democracy
"we have never been just a collection of individuals... we are and always will be the united states of america."
to live in a democracy is not just a privilege, it is a responsibility.
and a joy. today it was a joy.
today was election day. i woke up before dawn to report as a poll volunteer for the no on eight campaign. at ten, i strolled to my polling place to vote, then to at election day service at PSR's chapel. lunch and back to the poll for a couple hours to wave a sign and talk to people.
i got the bug. i was inspired. every where i looked, people were getting off their ass and doing something about what they believed. i needed to be one of them.
and here i was, standing with strangers, for a common cause, finding things in common we never guessed would be the case. talking to voters, sharing a vision of community. i was standing outside a berkeley poll... and no, every voter wasn't voting no on prop eight. many of the no on eight voters said "well this is an easy place to stand." yea maybe. but, as the campaign told us, EVERY VOTE COUNTS. doesn't matter where is was cast. the more no votes we get in berkeley, the better. the more people we ensure aren't confused by the campaigns, the better. and no matter how they voted, we told every person who came out of the poll: "thanks for voting." because every person, whether they agree with me or not, deserves to be thanked for making the effort to have their voice heard, for participating in the democratic process. we are not just individuals. we are a community--the UNITED states of america.
"put there hands on the arch of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day."
a four year old, going with her mother to vote, as soon as she saw me, said "OBAMA!"
i heard stories of independent identity developed through political opinions. i heard stories of love that transcend civil law.
these stories bend history. these small faces learning to vote today, will continue to bend history.
"change has come to america."
i learned about community today. i learned how to put myself out there. i learned how to listen, how to open up, how to smile, and what a smile and a thank you can mean. you cannot build community inside your apartment. you cannot serve God completely inside your church. we have to step out.
"this victory alone is not the change we seek, it is the chance to make that change...new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice... where each of resolves to pitch in and look after not only ourselves but each other."
i have to step out. i cannot take what i learned today, what i learned in seminary, what i learned in san francisco, what i learned from my family, from my parents, from my hometown and NOT change. i cannot NOT do anything. i have to change how i live now, tomorrow, not being the same when i wake up each day as i was the day before.
"that is the true genius of america. that we can change."
amen, Mr. President Elect, amen.
quotes from the 44th President of the United States speech from Grant Park upon his election
to live in a democracy is not just a privilege, it is a responsibility.
and a joy. today it was a joy.
today was election day. i woke up before dawn to report as a poll volunteer for the no on eight campaign. at ten, i strolled to my polling place to vote, then to at election day service at PSR's chapel. lunch and back to the poll for a couple hours to wave a sign and talk to people.
i got the bug. i was inspired. every where i looked, people were getting off their ass and doing something about what they believed. i needed to be one of them.
and here i was, standing with strangers, for a common cause, finding things in common we never guessed would be the case. talking to voters, sharing a vision of community. i was standing outside a berkeley poll... and no, every voter wasn't voting no on prop eight. many of the no on eight voters said "well this is an easy place to stand." yea maybe. but, as the campaign told us, EVERY VOTE COUNTS. doesn't matter where is was cast. the more no votes we get in berkeley, the better. the more people we ensure aren't confused by the campaigns, the better. and no matter how they voted, we told every person who came out of the poll: "thanks for voting." because every person, whether they agree with me or not, deserves to be thanked for making the effort to have their voice heard, for participating in the democratic process. we are not just individuals. we are a community--the UNITED states of america.
"put there hands on the arch of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day."
a four year old, going with her mother to vote, as soon as she saw me, said "OBAMA!"
i heard stories of independent identity developed through political opinions. i heard stories of love that transcend civil law.
these stories bend history. these small faces learning to vote today, will continue to bend history.
"change has come to america."
i learned about community today. i learned how to put myself out there. i learned how to listen, how to open up, how to smile, and what a smile and a thank you can mean. you cannot build community inside your apartment. you cannot serve God completely inside your church. we have to step out.
"this victory alone is not the change we seek, it is the chance to make that change...new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice... where each of resolves to pitch in and look after not only ourselves but each other."
i have to step out. i cannot take what i learned today, what i learned in seminary, what i learned in san francisco, what i learned from my family, from my parents, from my hometown and NOT change. i cannot NOT do anything. i have to change how i live now, tomorrow, not being the same when i wake up each day as i was the day before.
"that is the true genius of america. that we can change."
amen, Mr. President Elect, amen.
quotes from the 44th President of the United States speech from Grant Park upon his election
Monday, November 3, 2008
beloved
recently, i was asked what i think the people need most... why the church exists. everyone has a different answer to this that is deeply rooted in their theology and moral anthropology.
reformed theology is famous for its understanding of the person as totally depraved. even when not overtly preached, it often undergirds our prayers and hymns. in my experience this has bred unhealthy self-criticism, low self-esteem and an inability to see the gifts God has given us to serve the world.
so what do i think people need most? what do i think the church needs to say the most?
you are God's beloved child. God loves you. we love you.
period. no if and or buts. just that. God loves you. We love you.
all the rest is totally messy and worth wading through, but is a conversation and journey we can take together. no one has to do it alone.
my heart was filled as we sang last night at mbcc:
"i am your beloved
your creation
and you love me as i am.
you have called me chosen."
i am God's beloved. God has called me chosen.
what a difference that makes. i will try to carry that song in my heart this week to remember when i am feeling whiny, pouty, tired, or just worn out by the wet weather.
reformed theology is famous for its understanding of the person as totally depraved. even when not overtly preached, it often undergirds our prayers and hymns. in my experience this has bred unhealthy self-criticism, low self-esteem and an inability to see the gifts God has given us to serve the world.
so what do i think people need most? what do i think the church needs to say the most?
you are God's beloved child. God loves you. we love you.
period. no if and or buts. just that. God loves you. We love you.
all the rest is totally messy and worth wading through, but is a conversation and journey we can take together. no one has to do it alone.
my heart was filled as we sang last night at mbcc:
"i am your beloved
your creation
and you love me as i am.
you have called me chosen."
i am God's beloved. God has called me chosen.
what a difference that makes. i will try to carry that song in my heart this week to remember when i am feeling whiny, pouty, tired, or just worn out by the wet weather.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
love letter to mbcc
last night we went to a halloween party full of church folk. it was a blast. but what we both noticed upon leaving was how surrounded by people of like mind we were. we are not used to that... in ohio and indiana that tends not to be the case, and despite being in the bay area for two years, it is still ocassionally surprising.
don't get me wrong, mbcc is not particularly political from the pulpit (or at least we try not to be)... or even in our congregational life. as a community, we talk about hunger and other relatively safe justice issues, but try to keep the rough issues to a minimum. we are authentic in our attempts to be open to different perspectives and make room for people who disagree with us.
of course, there has been an obama shirt on someone almost every sunday for months. in the primary season there were lots of hilary supporters too.
what impresses me about the mbcc crowd most is there political engagement outside of the congregation. one lawyer was telling beautiful stories from volunteering for a national hotline that helps first time voeters figure it all out. another young woman has volunteered (what seems to me a lot) for no on prop eight and will be spending her tuesday for that cause. a doctor in our crew was quoted in defense of a teenager's right to have an abortion without telling her parents--a position he holds with thought, integrity and faith.
this gang challenges me to be more active. to take opinions and turn them into a lifestyle. to be engaged on a deeper level. to use my faith to change the world.
this is definitely one of the ways that mbcc is a communion of saints.
don't get me wrong, mbcc is not particularly political from the pulpit (or at least we try not to be)... or even in our congregational life. as a community, we talk about hunger and other relatively safe justice issues, but try to keep the rough issues to a minimum. we are authentic in our attempts to be open to different perspectives and make room for people who disagree with us.
of course, there has been an obama shirt on someone almost every sunday for months. in the primary season there were lots of hilary supporters too.
what impresses me about the mbcc crowd most is there political engagement outside of the congregation. one lawyer was telling beautiful stories from volunteering for a national hotline that helps first time voeters figure it all out. another young woman has volunteered (what seems to me a lot) for no on prop eight and will be spending her tuesday for that cause. a doctor in our crew was quoted in defense of a teenager's right to have an abortion without telling her parents--a position he holds with thought, integrity and faith.
this gang challenges me to be more active. to take opinions and turn them into a lifestyle. to be engaged on a deeper level. to use my faith to change the world.
this is definitely one of the ways that mbcc is a communion of saints.
food, fasting and prayer
i was invited by a friend to spend the week before the election fasting and praying for the votes.
i was also invited by some presbyterian group on facebook to fast this weekend) in some form in prayer for the global food crisis. more info on what they are doing is here.
so tomorrow, i am fasting until communion at our evening service. fasting means many things to many people and the pcusa resources suggest finding something that works for you. it has been a long time since i fasted for something at specified intervals. but, when i did, i found it to be a consciousness-raising, prayer inducing practice. so here i go, tomorrow, only beverages (probably just water and tea) until the lord's supper.
reasons i am doing this:
1. how would the world be different if before major decisions we all stopped and prayed, meditated, thought or just listened for a day? fast on sunday, vote early on monday.
2. we live in a world with enough food, but many, many people are still hungry. i need to engage that somehow.
3. this summer i met people who on a regular basis have to decide whether to feed their children or pay their rent. that is tragic.... but i felt like, what could i do?
4. my relationship with food is awkward and dysfunctional. i want to improve it, eat more healthfully and consciously, but am often overwhelmed by where to start.
i appreciate the challenge from my friend and my community to take this on, even a little at a time.
"day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts." acts 2:46
this is my hope. that i can learn to eat with a glad and generous heart... and that everyone all over the world has the opportunity to eat every day with a glad and generous heart. this is why i will fast.
join me... apparently pcusa is doing this once a month (first weekend of the month) and i am going to try to as well.
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