Thursday, January 31, 2008

UNTIL THE VIOLENCE STOPS

V-Week at PSR

2.12.08 Chapel service at 11:10 am (in the PSR Chapel)

2.12.08 The Vagina Monologues at 7:30 pm ... proceeds to benefit SafeHouse, a ministry of San Francisco Network ministries; it is one of five 24 hr. residency programs in the country for women leaving prostitution (Also in the PSR Chapel)

2.14.08 "Responding Faithfully and Effectively to Domestic Violence" lecture and discussion with Jennifer Joslyn-Siemiatoski, community educator for STAND Against Domestic Violence... from 12:30-2 pm in Mudd 100

2.14.08 What Would Your Vagina Wear Party ... sponosored by Corey's 30th Birthday; sometime in the evening and somewhere on campus?

As an artist, my biggest privilege this year has been witnessing the artistry of others through our PSR production of the Vagina Monologues. I am blessed to go to a seminary so rich with so many kinds of artists--actresses, directors, musicians, dancers, painters, etc.--and to be able to help organize a venue to showcase these talents. If you are in the area, support this production. Buy a ticket or donate to our cause. You can donate on paypal.com by sending money to PSRVaginaMonologues@gmail.com. Email that same address for tickets.

Perhaps even bigger than the privilege of facilitating artistry is the privilege of standing with women across the country and across the world to say enough is enough. Violence against women has to stop and we are going to do something about it (and our action will be BEAUTIFUL!). Our little production is doing everything it can to support SafeHouse. JOIN US!

we are establishing a tradition of vaginaness (yes, we made up that word)...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

conversations...

Are we in conversation with God? Does God talk to us and we listen, or do we talk to God and God listens? What about the Bible? Are we in conversation with it?

At MBCC, we preach on the premise that it is a conversation. Sometimes this is harder. The questions I posed today were big, sometimes vague, and even hard for me to answer. The joy is that the congregation often (usually...) has better answers than I do anyway.

I find myself in continual conversation with the text, part of the reason that I actually like the preaching process at MBCC. I was not finished with the book of Joel when I finished with my last sermon on it today.

As we discussed the end of the book of Joel, I asked everyone to consider scripture as a mirror, reflecting our identity (an idea borrowed from James Sanders). In that sense, I see the parts of Joel that I am tempted to toss out as enlightening. Joel calls us to arms when the faithful are threatened. In times we are hurt, our first instinct is to fight back, to hurt back. Miss Tiffany, ever insightful, noted that perhaps God is the one who is supposed to stand up for us. I do hope that is true.

If I preached didn't preach effectively to anyone else today, I preached to me. I needed my sermon. I find myself so angry at someone who hurt my family, and all I want to do is hurt back. I call him all kinds of nasty things in my head. I imagine ways to make him mad, frustrated, angry and hurt. Instead, I will do my best to put my hope in God, for some kind of justice in the end... hopefully sooner rather than later.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

proud to be Presbyterian... within reason

For most of my life, when asked why I am Presbyterian, I would kinda shrug my shoulders and say something to the effect of: "Oh, I don't know. I guess I was born that way. Always have been." What a crappy answer (and lazy attitude for that matter). But I really didn't know why I was Presbyterian... and not Methodist, or Episcopalian, or DOC, or UCC.

Now I have a better answer (at least less apathetic). Or at least am starting too.

We (the folks of PCUSA) are a living breathing body. We move and change and grow and act--together. The process is communal and the spirit is present. I do not say that often. And... I am shocked to say that I felt the spirit at the last SF Presbytery meeting. But, I did. At a meeting. During a vote where only a handful of people dissented... their voices were heard. This is a discerning community that takes that responsibility very seriously. It is a grassroots community that breathes, wrestles, struggles and cares. It lives.

Don't let anyone tell you that the mainlines are dead. I am hear to tell you that PCUSA is not. (Yes'm, I said that and I will say it again.) PCUSA is alive.

The whole meeting was not peaches and cream, and the danger of appreciating my religious identity more is walking that fine line between serving God and serving the church. Some people think that the two are always the same. I do not.

When we seek to keep our religion (or our denomination or our churches) exclusive and pure.... we worship that religion (or denomination or church) and not God.

Dr. Ayoub, who is a visiting scholar at PSR this semester, calls this the "idolatry of religion" and reminds us that it "obscures the teaching and personality of Christ." Dr. Muzaffar, the Earl Lecturer this year, reminds us that in some ways--"The worship of religion has become more important than the worship of God."

I know that in my seminary experience, when I am SO steeped in the institution of the church, that I need to keep this distinction in mind. The living body of Christ needs to keep this distinction in mind as well. I fear that I will not, that we will not.



Monday, January 21, 2008

adventures in preaching

So, I just completed my second in a three part series on the book of Joel. Of note... the first week I preached, we had over a hundred in attendance... the second week, we had a little over eighty. The first week wasn't my best preaching. I was nervous, uncomfortable, talked to fast... this week was a whole other story. But, let's hope I didn't drive them away... (just kidding.)

Whew. What a Sunday. When you preach with media, the computer crashing feels a little stressful. We scrambled for an hour and a half before the service to get the songs on a new power point, try to work out the prayers, etc. using my computer. I made a video of the scripture that just didn't make it into the service in the confusion. It was like riding the bike without the training wheels for the first time. And just as I enjoyed that first ride (scary though it was), I enjoyed preaching this week.

It was a good conversation. There is so much wisdom in our congregation... I would say in all congregations, and I love the process of wrestling with the text together, working it out together, and integrating many people's interpretations into how we understand the text. I think it makes much more interesting. And, MBCC puts up with (maybe even enjoys?) my little art projects and and I feel privileged to be able to witness and read the way people respond through my little activities in the sermon.

And afterward, someone asked me how Jesus was today. I said good... there were just demons in the computer. He responded that Jesus needed something to do... demons in the computer gave him a job.

I could go on and on about Sunday... I have been over analyzing it for about 36 hours, but rather than bore you, I thought I would share the video I couldn't share on Sunday. It is a reading of Joel 2:12-17. The quality is not fab... but here goes.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

trembling before God

I am so afraid. Deep into my bones scared. Hide under the covers, there are monsters in the closet, anxious.

Sitting in a class, picking through hegemony, oppression and its relationship to religion, I am reminded by the wisdom around me that God is present in the fight against oppression. God's vision is bigger than the here and now and I have to trust that.

To truly trust that, I have to open myself to a deeper relationship with God through a deeper spiritual life. This has been what I have been afraid of for a long time. If I get to a point where I am "listening to God," where will I be called? Can I do it? I feel so small next to the crazy, creativeness of the vision of God that I feel weak, insecure and paralyzed.

Do I jump? Do I make myself vulnerable? Do I open myself to the fight, the struggle, and the call of God?

Can I pray?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Global Justice: A Muslim Perspective with Dr. Chandra Muzaffar

An excerpt from my notes:

"Surrender only to God. Your surrender to God is your liberation. Your surrender to God is the discovery of the noble self. You are surrendering to your better nature. And in surrendering only to God you are freed from the others forces and powers that you surrender to."

It is an honor to be in this short class this week and be able to learn from Dr. Muzaffar. I do not know if I got his words verbatim, but I did get the spirit of them.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

shall we pray for britney?

A couple of days ago, on my morning radio show--Fernando and Greg on energy 92.7--they were discussing whether or not we (the general we, people in the country who don't know her but follow her every move by default because the media does) should pray for her. This whole conversation started because, apparently, Elizabeth Hasselbeck of the View was quoted as saying we should pray for her. Greg loves the View but hates Elizabeth and was arguing that no we shouldn't pray for Britney-- (now here is where the theological dork in me comes out) because we have a limited number of prayers God will listen to and we should use those prayers on people we know and care about.

Really?? God only listens to some prayers? Any argument ensued, of course. Fernando thought that God listens to all prayers and if we feel compelled, we should pray for Britney and anyone else we see who is suffering.

The power of prayer is much debated. If we all prayed for Britney, would her life magically improve? If it worked that way, why is there still suffering in Darfur? Are there not enough people praying? If intercessory prayer worked to simply fix things, I imagine no one would ever die from any illness. Most of us would live to a ripe old age because prayers were said on our behalf when we got sick.

Is prayer speaking or listening? I don't even know which sometimes, but I still give it a shot. At the very least, prayer changes me and most days that is enough.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Atonement

honesty. no adjectives, no embellishments.

Atonement was a masterpiece. It was an intense, compelling and challenging narrative that spoke about the nature of truth. I highly recommend it.

As any good piece of film (or art) does, it pushed me to think about my own relationship to truth and honesty. I am in the midst of deciding whether of not to move, trying to discern what is best for me, for my family, what is sustainable and what will make us happy. In this process, it is important to be honest, with myself and my partner about what I want and need. But, how can you be honest when you are not sure? when the "truth" is ambiguous? when it is all a fog?

For me, much of my faith is foggy. The edges are not clear. The boundaries are not clear. I am not clear. I do not always know where I am, how I relate to God, how I relate to others. If you cannot locate yourself, how can you reach out?

I am not sure that truth exists in a pure way, no adjectives or embellishments. Is that a way to hide from the truth? Do I hide behind thinking my faith is foggy, thinking I am foggy, to avoid looking at the truth?

I find the hardest person to be truthful with is usually myself.