and what it all boils down to

is that no one has it figured out just yet.

being in middle school when i was (during the debut of ultra angst album, jagged little pill) i can't help but identify with a little alanis morisette on occasion. hand in my pocket (see above lines) was on the radio on my way home tonight as i was pondering bible study, worship and that last year of seminary that starts next week. i don't know what i am doing. from time to time, i feel a flash of confidence in my competence, but overall i am getting used to feeling like i just don't have it figured out just yet. and i will probably never have it figured out. but i will muddle through, as a pastoral presence, as an artist, as a student, as a community member, as a humble offering to God, trying to remember that my best attempt at dealing with the ambiguity and my own ignorance is all i can offer--and it is enough.