Friday, November 9, 2007

Totally depraved?!?!!?

I am in a Jesuit ethics class with, well obviously a bunch of Catholics, but also with a group of Presbyterians who seem to know Calvin quite well. Calvin and I, on the other hand, couldn't be called more than mere acquaintances. Course, I am finding out that this mere acquaintance has had a surprising amount of influence on who I am and how I think about my self.

Often the total depravity debate comes up in class. The Catholics think we are fundamentally good in our nature (a place we agree) and the Calvinists this we are fundamentally sinful and corrupt--totally depraved.

What? How can I be made in the image of God but be so fundamentally wrong that I am totally depraved? I don't get it. I like to err on the side of love and compassion, and to me that means seeing the fundamental good in people, not the sin. And I don't think this devalues the seriousness I approach sin with, nor my understanding of grace.

But, I have always had trouble seeing myself as fundamentally good and created in the image of God. It is an identity that I believe in the abstract but have not internalized. Apparently, I have internalized Calvin. Maybe I know him better than I thought.

Don't get me wrong. There is a lot about being Presbyterian that I love. The power resides within the congregation, the sense of community, etc. But I just don't think that a totally depraved view of human nature can jive with my faith. I just don't think that constantly telling people they are bad, constantly conceiving of people as bad, or constantly conceiving of myself as bad can grow my relationship to my self, my neighbor or my
God.....

hmmm.

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