hanging up

grief is a sneaky, a sly, slippery shadow that suddenly you can find yourself standing in, not even quite sure how you got there--or how to find the sun again.

the joy of the dvr and the movie channels is the movie lover that i am is always satisfied. there is always something i want to watch waiting for me on my dvr. so today, while i cleaned, i watched hanging up... a drama from 1998 with meg ryan, lisa kudrow, diane keaton and walter matthau. i so it once, in high school, and remembered it as quite funny. perfect to help motivate me to get the apartment under control.

was i ever wrong.

it is a beautiful movie. the three ladies are sisters, and walter matthau is their aging father dealing with memory loss and eventually a stroke... oi. in high school, my parents were immortal. and luckily enough, my grandparents were all healthy. my family seemed indestructible. at the time, the movie was funny.

this time around... not a comedy at all. this year has reminded me that my family is everything but indestructible. and in the business of the semester, i often avoided dealing with it without having to try very hard.

this time when grief snuck up on me, i knew why... this silly movie... and i am going to look for the sun, but try not the run from the shadow so quickly this time.