advent journeys

i started advent in hopes of writing everyday, taking time out, slowing down and spending time with God, waiting.

i am still waiting. the eve of christmas, though bringing us the Christ child, does not bring me what i wait for... or does it? i long for direction, for stability, for a path to follow Jesus that i understand. what i miss that in this process of discernment, i am there, even as i try to get there.

the art of racing in the rain is a book written from the perspective of a dog named enzo (ironically the name of my parents' dog) whose owner in a race car driver talented at racing on wet tracks. from this trade, enzo has learned that to be in the present moment is often the way to best deal with the past and the future. this is what is required to race in the rain, without fear, with confidence and hope.

the insights of this dog teach me about my own journey. i can't get so busy looking ahead, afraid of what will come, that i miss where i am what i am doing, and am unable to react clearly to the bumps in the road.

if i sit in the stability of being on a journey, moving forward, if i find God in the movement, if i understand the ways that the Word is made flesh in the process, i can keep moving, even when i feel like i am still in advent, always waiting, and not quite there yet.