education happens everywhere

distance and perspective can be a beautiful thing. a couple hundred miles from home, looking out onto the ocean is a fantastic place to consider where i am in life and what i am doing.

this week i dropped two classes. i am only taking nine credit hours, something i have never done as long as i have been in school (except for that one part time semester where i worked full time). i found out i couldn't possibly be done with my coursework required for ordination before spring 2010. simultaneous to receiving this information, i was drowning in school work, emails, admin for mbcc and arrangements, arrangements, arrangements for mr mod and mr. vice-mod. i wasn't caught up on anything, and couldn't do it any more.

so i pulled back. i dropped some classes, decided to keep my gigs and stretch out my last year of seminary into two. this goes against so many culture values and personal baggage that i hold (values i wish i didn't have, but that i must admit i do). i feel like i am wasting money b/c nine credit hours costs the same as fifteen do. i feel like i am so how failing or not working hard enough b/c i won't finish my three year program in three years. education is a gift and a prize, and i feel like i am thumbing my nose at a fantastic gift.

and yet, this may be one of the times in my life that i make a decision that values me. i have stopped and realized that my lifestyle was no longer healthy or sustainable. i value me.

i also realized, as i speak to pastors, as i see how the denomination works, as i pour myself into a faith community, that my education is no longer (if it ever was) restricted to the classroom. god has shown me all kinds of other places to learn valuable skills to this vocation of pastoring that i am pursuing, and i cannot ignore the learning i am doing at mbcc or in the pcusa.

and so my choice is for balance--between learning in the classroom, the local church, and the denomination, in hopes that i get an even more complete education when i finally do graduate.

after a weekend on the beach, the work will be achieving that balance.