grey's authority

so i am stuck on this "authority" issue. it keep cropping up. how do i take my authority as a person, yada yada yada.

well, grey's anatomy tonight was all about learning to take authority. izzy knew what she needed to do with a patient but wanted bailey to do it for her. finally bailey laid it out--you don't need me to do this, you have what you need, just do it. she did. george couldn't find his authority since he failed his intern exam. he lost all confidence in his work. tonight, he asked for the second chance he felt he deserved--and got it. meredith is all over the professional authority, doing surgeries she is not authorized to do and lying about it (yes, i know this is just a show), but struggled with personal authority. she finally tells derrick that she wants him. she has worked and is working on herself and wants him.

i think this is a fairly common transition in figuring out how to be an adult. as we get skills, find identity, move in new ways, we have to figure out how to be that ourselves in a new way. we are trying to figure out how to wear our new skin. taking our authority is figuring out how to be our best selves and giving that to the world. sometimes this means stepping up. sometimes it means asking for help--cause we don't know it all, and are often deeply aware of our ignorance.

today, i emailed some of the staff at church to get opinions about preaching this weekend. i believe more heads are better than one. and yet, i think i was really just looking for affirmation, and as soon as i sent the email, i realized that. i was taking baby steps i needed to just stand up. their response was the response i expected, the conclusion i came to myself.

if anyone needs to learn to respect my authority, it is me.