making transitions, not saying good-bye

sunday evening, with Rev. Dr. D. Mark Wilson's benediction, the PSR academic year came to a close. with this, my life is in transition. i am no longer girl intern at mission bay community church. i am no longer in class, a state of being which always makes me feel like i am floating through life with no direction (when not employed full time as an alternative to class). many of my friends are moving, either for the summer or for life.

this makes me sad. to say otherwise would be to lie. i thrive on change and growth but dread and fear it all the same. i have been surprised to find "family" in california, but that family will not look the same next week. i have been surprised to find deep community in california, but my part in that has to change. it is hard to admit what all this has meant to me and i am not sure why. when i preached for the last time on sunday, it was difficult... not for all the reasons that it usually is, but because of the way i felt invested in this community and the sense of saying good-bye.

and yet new exciting things await. i am traveling some this summer... i am making art this summer. i will be learning, but in different ways. i will begin a new journey.

so i am not saying good-byes. i refuse. i am making transitions.